How to get unstuck when life is hard.

I’ve had an influx of hard experiences in my life over the last year. 

Repeated financial stressors.

Changes in friendship and community rhythms.

A body that has been rapidly changing, physically and emotionally, in perimenopause.

Raising teenage daughters who are on the cusp of transitioning to adulthood.

A work life that is constantly pressuring me to produce versus being a compassionate caregiver.

At the same time, there is a whole lot of GOOD happening. However, the hard is a kind of undercurrent that runs on a day-to-day basis.  It’s the steady flow that’s trying to carry me away from what I know to be solid ground. If you have ever felt yourself adrift from hope, you understand this feeling.

But, I had this recent moment where I encountered the voice of God through scripture in a way that I hadn’t in some time.  If I’m being truly honest, I have felt like He’s been pretty silent. I’ve heard desperation in my prayers that sound like David as He cried out in the book of Psalms:  Where are you in THIS, God? He hasn’t met my desperate pleas for rescuing or provision or for a sudden breakthrough with action, like I anticipated. 

Instead, God’s response came as a whisper. One that landed softly on my heart because I was listening, day after day, as I intentionally met with Him. We know He speaks in a still, small voice and yet, our expectation is often the opposite. 

The rare occasion that I am met with awestruck wonder at His powerful response isn’t as often as I would like.  Maybe that’s due to my own lack of faith.  I don’t pretend to understand the why and when of God’s activity. And truthfully, He does break into hopeless situations swiftly, miraculously even. Sometimes.  Other times, His response is slow, unexpected….He simply redirects our thinking, our desires, our hopes.  The undercurrent that intends to carry you into rushing rapids of fear, worry and doubt, He transitions into the still waters of a gentle stream.

When I opened my bible to the book of Psalms that morning, I had low expectations of hearing something significant.  I was simply walking through my daily habit of reading the Psalms. I have found the Psalms to be essential in encouraging my heart to trust in God’s character and to find reassurance that my own emotional journey echoes that of all humanity.  As I read, I found myself stuck on Psalm 135:5:

For I know that the Lord is great, and that our Lord is above all gods.

I re-read and meditated on this  passage. In the middle of all of the hard things I’m experiencing,  the hope could be this: the Lord is great. He IS great.  He IS mighty.  He IS powerful. All of that is true about His character. 

Instead, I heard God whisper to me: “You know.”

Jen, you KNOW I am great.  You KNOW I am good. You KNOW I am love. 

This isn’t only the psalmist affirming what He knows….He’s declaring it.  The Psalms weren’t originally written prayers, they were spoken prayers.  He’s opening his mouth and saying: I KNOW that the Lord is great.

In Christian culture, we’ve had a history of glossing over painful things in our lives.  Downplaying the struggles we wrestle with.  Quietly pushing down what is hard and using prayer or platitudes as a cover-up.  However, in more recent years, there’s been a swing towards more authenticity. A trend toward talking about what is real in life. Real pain. Deep hurt. True disappointment. We’re seeing honesty and vulnerability lead the way in Christian circles to better align with how Jesus truly wants to meet us in our pain.

And it’s been beautiful to see people receive the deep love of Jesus and experience His genuine care for them.  

But, what if in naming all that is hard, we end up stuck there?  Trapped by looking down at the muck and mire of our hardship instead of looking up at the face of God.  I’ve started to reflect on the difference between naming what is hard and fixing your attention on it.

That’s where I felt my heart pivot when reading Psalm 135.  I’ve been fixating on all that is hard instead of turning, in faith, to what I know to be true about God and what He has promised.  

Psalm 121: 1-2 reads:

I lift up my eyes to the hills.  From where does my help come?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

I can’t fix all that is hard in my life.  But, I can name it and offer it to God in prayer.  I can acknowledge that He alone is my help. 

In these moments of hard, I have to choose where to look.  I can keep my gaze down on all the challenges around me, that I cannot control or figure out solutions to on my own, or, I can look UP.  To the face of the Father, who I know loves me.  To the eyes of the one who sees me and looks at me with compassion for my weaknesses.  To hear the voice of the one who is delighted to call me beloved daughter.  

God is always speaking life over me.  I’m the one who has to choose what narrative I want to say over my life. Do I want to perseverate on what I have already named as hard?    Or, do I want to speak what I know to be true of God?

I wrote a simple breath prayer to re-engage my heart towards faith in what I know.  I offer it to you as a way to look UP: 

God, you are good.  So, I trust you.