Who are you becoming on the Way?

“We become what we give our attention to.” -John Mark Comer

These words came through my earbuds as I enjoyed an unusually warm December run. Words fitting for the turn of the new year and my annual practice of reflecting on the past year and setting intentions for the coming one.  As an enneagram three, goal-setting for the new year seems a natural and obvious practice for an achiever like me.  But, through spiritual and emotional growth, I’ve learned that chasing goals isn’t a healthy way for me to follow in the way of Jesus. Fixating on the goal alone pushes me too much towards performance, seeking the praise of others, and perfectionism.

You might have mixed emotions about the idea of goal-setting, New Year’s resolutions, or end of year reflections.  Maybe they feel like legalistic restrictions or setting yourself up for failure or implementing a discipline that “boxes you in.”  But, the one thing that motivates me to practice end of year reflections is this question:  

Who am I becoming?

I’m no longer interested in setting lofty goals and overloading myself with disciplines for the new year.  But, I highly value intentional living.  Living intentionally requires developing a plan.  And a plan comes from reflecting on what your life has been to inspire dreams of what you hope life could be.  

And so I have to ask: Am I becoming more like Jesus?  What practices have formed my life over the past year? Who are the influences that are shaping my thoughts and beliefs?  What do I value? Does the way I live reflect those values?  Or is there a conflict or pain point that I’m wrestling with? How do I spend my time, money, and energy?  

The Way of Jesus

Culture imposes on us that there is a way to live that is fulfilling, brings happiness, and meaning. It looks something like achieving success, increasing wealth, obtaining the latest and greatest toys and tech, and gaining social status through a certain number of followers. A comparison of small squares with cultured images and carefully crafted content.  But, is it the way of Jesus? Is it the way of Love?  Or is it misguided love and modern day idols?  A life that leaves us feeling empty, disenchanted or alone?  

Jesus modeled for us a way of life. It was so impactful that early followers of Jesus were simply called “The Way” and it was counter to the culture of their time. Thomas even asked Him, “How can we know the way?” to which Jesus replied these famous words:

I am the WAY, and the TRUTH, and the LIFE. (John 14:5-6)

The end of one year and the beginning of another is a natural pause to look over your life and ask:

Am I on the WAY?

Am I following TRUTH?

Is my LIFE reflecting His?

Seven Key Areas

At the end of this blog, you’ll find resources that have been helpful to me for reflection and making a plan to live intentionally.  But, first, I want to share the key areas that I dive into to reorder my life around these three loves:  Loving God, loving others, and loving the world.  

1. Spiritual:  What has my life with Jesus looked like this past year?  How have I been intentional in my relationship with Him?  You might consider things like: prayer life, bible reading, books on spiritual formation, your involvement in a faith community, spiritual practices.
2. Relationships:  How have I been connecting with my spouse? My children?  If you are single, who have been your closest friends this past year?  How are you relating to extended family?  What friendships are giving you life?  What friendships are coming to a natural end? Or need healthy boundaries?  Where are you celebrating new friendships or ones that have been restored?  What relationships are in need of repar?
3. Technology:  What is my relationship with digital devices?  (This is one of the greatest connections we have to the world through our engagement with entertainment, social media, and apps that make us easily accessible to one another.)  Am I consuming more than creating?  How is technology shaping how I think about Jesus, my neighbors, and myself?  (I highly recommend  The Tech-Wise family by Andy Crouch to explore this more.)
4. Health:  We are only given one body by God to live out this life. How am I caring for it? What does my nutrition look like?  How does my body feel when I move it?  Do I need to prioritize scheduling care for my body?  Do I need to see a physician, a physical therapist, a specialist, a dentist?  What about my mental health?  Do I need to explore meeting with a therapist or ask about possible medications?  What about my sleep patterns?  Stress levels?  These are all factors that make up a healthy body.  Take some time to listen to what your body might be saying to you.
5. Work life:  What does this season of work look like for you?  Are you being faithful where you are in anticipation of dreams coming true in the future?  Is your job rewarding or fulfilling?  Is it meeting the needs of you and/or your family?  What is your relationship with your co-workers like? How are you carrying the love of Jesus into your workplace?
6. Finances: What unexpected finances came up this past year?  Were you prepared for them or did they burden you?  Do you have a budget?  Did you stay within your budget for 2023?  Do you have a savings goal?  What is one financial goal you have for the coming year and how can you plan for it?
7. Play:  What are things that are life-giving to you?  List the hobbies that you enjoy doing in your free time.  Did you make time to play this past year?  What is something new that you would like to learn this coming year? Where would you like to travel?

What you give your attention to will shape you throughout 2023.  My prayer is that you will be formed by choosing intentional living instead of allowing life to simply “happen” to you. A life that is the way of Jesus.

Happy NEW Year from my family to yours!

Recommended Resources

These resources are a few of my personal favorites for helping you through this reflection process.  Choose what seems like the best fit for you in this season!  

Jennie Allen’s Dream Guide is a workbook to jot down some thoughts on your growth from last year and form goals for this coming year. I especially appreciate her page on “things to grieve and things to celebrate.”  You can grab her free download right here: https://www.jennieallen.com/freebies

Lead Stories Media with Jo and Steph produces the “Hello Goodbye” resource.  It’s a tool to help you release what God is asking you to let go of and to embrace what He is inviting you into for the coming year.  You can listen to the podcast for free and then grab one of several digital downloads for a small fee.  Jo and Steph are voices that encourage me as a woman leader and advocate for me to step into God’s calling.  https://www.leadstoriesmedia.com/hellogoodbye

Developing a Rule of Life with John Mark Comer. I’ve been a fan of writer, pastor, and teacher John Mark for many years.  This past month, I’ve been revisiting his teachings on the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry to evaluate my personal Rule of Life.  He has 5 podcasts in this series so far. The Case for Digital Asceticism is a powerful episode, challenging my own relationship to technology.  You can listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ruthless-elimination-of-hurry-unhurrying-with/id1592847144?i=1000587468624  

You can also download the Rule of Life workbook to help you live in alignment with your deepest values and passions.  https://practicingthewayarchives.org/unhurrying-with-a-rule-of-life/workbook