Embrace a New Name

Beloved.

The first time I remember hearing that word spoken to me, it wasn’t spoken at all.  It was written.  It was the start of a Beth Moore book and she addressed her readers as “beloved.”  What a tender and intimate phrase.  I didn’t think much about what that word meant but I know that it stirred something in my heart.  Something inside of me leapt at being called “beloved”.

Song of Solomon

Beloved isn’t a word often used in today’s culture.  It’s a term of endearment used to describe someone who is dearly loved.  One definition described it as used only toward someone you have loved for a long time or very deeply. My husband’s wedding ring is inscribed with the Hebrew letters translated “My beloved is mine and I am hers” taken from the Song of Solomon.  Within the bible, beloved is most frequently found in the book of the Song of Solomon. 38 times in only 8 chapters! Song of Solomon is a series of poetic love letters written between a man and a woman. It’s like taking a secret glimpse into the depth of intimacy between two lovers as they long to be with one another.  The book is also known to be an allegory of the love between Christ and His Church.

I delight when I read “the Beloved’s” voice declaring to his bride how beautiful she is to him, how great his love is and how she has captivated his heart.  Throughout the poems, the bride is the one who calls him “the beloved”. She longs to be with him and goes out into the streets looking for the one “whom my soul loves.” All of this written long before Jesus came into the world to bring back the sons and daughters to the Father.

Who is the Beloved?

In the gospels, there is another who is called the Beloved. 

“A voice came from heaven, “You are my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”  John 3: 17

This is the voice that speaks over Jesus as He rises up out of the water after being baptized by John.  Jesus has performed no miracles.  He has not yet healed a single person.  He has been living in Nazareth into His adult life with nothing notable to share about His life until this moment.  God declares His pleasure and His deep love for his Son, simply because of who He is.  As followers of Jesus, we can rejoice over this moment because it is meant to be a declaration of His love for us as well.  God has called us to be Sons and Daughters:

I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty. 
2 Cor. 6:18

Jesus came so we could be restored into the family of God. You are His daughter. The Beloved. You are deeply loved by the One who made you. You are known more intimately by Him than anyone in this world.  

You, who has felt abandoned by her own family. 

You, who can hardly imagine anyone calling her beautiful.

You, with your heart shattered by broken relationships.

You, the one who has been wandering.

You, the one who has stayed faithful.

Uncovered

Honestly? I’m still embracing this truth. I am the beloved daughter. Most of my young adulthood, I wrestled with the question, “how could God love me?” Yes, I knew all the scriptures about the love of God.  I knew that God IS love.  I believed that nothing I did could separate me from His love.  I understood that God’s love wasn’t based on my efforts but it was based on Jesus.  I had embraced that God could only look at me because He was looking at Jesus.  I had covered or “put on” Jesus and that was the only way that God could stand to see me. 

The Beloved singing over his bride about how beautiful she was to him?  Not me. That wasn’t my experience.  My sin was ugly and therefore, I was ugly.  Unloveable.  Forgiven? Yes.  But free?  No. Hidden in Christ but really hiding myself.  I knew God but I didn’t feel known by Him. I couldn’t imagine the Father, pulling away the covering of Jesus and looking at Jen and declaring me “beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” (Song of Sol 4:7) But God, in His kindness, wouldn’t leave me in hiddenness. 

He wouldn’t leave me in a lie that kept me from being fully free. 

He wouldn’t settle for having a portion of my heart. 

He wanted all of it. 

He wanted me to embrace my true identity. 

Several years ago, I sat in the living room of a friend’s home where my husband and I were being discipled through a community of believers seeking an authentic life with Jesus. We were leaders who met twice a year to pray, worship, receive wisdom and reflect on the truths of scripture. We were invited to take an honest look at how our life mirrored the life of Jesus.  At the time, my husband and I were leading a house church and our ideas of “how to do church” were being tossed into the fire, burning away what wasn’t needed and sifting through what remained. 

One afternoon, a spiritual father in our community, Tom, was speaking and challenging us on what believed to be true about ourselves. He asked a simple question: What would you want God to say when He looks at you? His gaze narrowed in on me waiting for my response.  Tears formed in my eyes and I hesitated to speak the deep thing that I was desperate for God to say to me.  My voice, barely above a whisper, choked out the words: “I want for Him to say I’m beautiful.” I sobbed as I released the pain of a lie that had held me far too long.  Surrounded by this loving community, in the presence of God, the covering fell off. Tom spoke to me these words:

“Jen, history was made when you were born. Jen was created. In God’s creativity, majesty, God imagined and created you. He made you like He made you because He wanted you just like you are. There will never be another life like yours. You were designed the way you were designed, because you are an expression of God that will never be expressed the same way, except through you.”

Be loved.

I had to go back to the beginning. I needed to receive the truth that before Jesus restored me, the Father made me.  He could look at me because He created me.  The creator and artist that God is, designed every part of me and declared me beautiful in His sight.  Before I would enter into the world and live out the days of my life, He says “this is my Beloved daughter in whom I’m well pleased.”

That truth is for you too.  Go back to Tom’s words for me and put your name in place of mine.  Let those words reshape what you believe about yourself.  Let it settle on your heart and embrace who you are: made by God and called His beloved daughter.

God affirmed this truth in me recently, as I journaled His voice: