Lent: What has a hold of your heart?
Lent is the spiritual season that I never seem to be prepared for. Every February, the days roll into one another and somehow, Ash Wednesday arrives to initiate the Lenten season and I’m not ready. I end up disheartened that I haven’t prayed about or considered in advance what kind of sacrifice God is asking me to make for the forty days leading up to Easter. And, because I want that sacrifice to be authentic, I’ll end up fasting nothing.
A little back story
My earliest experiences with Lent were formed by growing up in a very traditional liturgical church community where Lent was practiced but not understood. More accurately, I didn’t understand the purpose of Lent. I simply knew that I was supposed to give up something and typically, it was supposed to be something I really enjoyed or consumed too much of. Chocolate, binging TV, soda, fast food, coffee, secular music, etc.
In college, when I came into a relationship with Jesus, I abandoned all things from my traditional church upbringing in pursuit of a deep, authentic life with Christ. I couldn’t mesh my liturgical upbringing with my newfound love for reading the bible, worship, and prayer. One had long, historical ties to the faith that felt meaningless to me as I hadn’t experienced the reality of Jesus in it. The other cultivated an intimate life with Jesus through quiet, personal connection with Him and in community with others like me. I was experiencing what felt like massive amounts of transformation, and quickly.
What is Lent?
Lent is a practice of giving up something temporarily, a fast, for 40 days. It mirrors Jesus fast when he was in the wilderness. Jesus went 40 days without food and when He was weak, He overcame the temptations offered Him from satan. He was fully dependent on God and His word to give Him the strength to resist these temptations.
I often wonder if anyone experiences so much freedom while fasting from a particular thing that they don’t reintroduce it into their life at the end of 40 days? Is that possible? Or, is the fast always meant to come to an end? I have a history of numerous January’s where I fasted from sweet treats and desserts because a craving had formed in me throughout the holiday season that needed to be drastically reduced. Typically, at the end of 30 days, I would reintroduce those delicious little treats into my diet but with a greater awareness of how frequently and how much I was consuming.
What if God asked you to fast for greater than 40 days? What if He asked you to give it up……for always?
A sacrifice instead of a fast.
More than a season
Growing in spiritual maturity has provided me opportunities to re-embrace the beauty of some liturgical practices. I finally understand the power of fasting, for a season, in order to remember Jesus’s sacrifice for me. I could now see the cravings in my life that I desired more than Jesus. But, what if the life of a Christian is to continually lay down something that we are clinging to more than Jesus? What if we embraced a regular practice of self-reflection to evaluate what we are consuming too much of? A specific food or drink. Entertainment. Social media. Sports. Lent would become more than a season, it would become a rhythm of our life.
What has a hold of your heart?
Jesus once challenged a young man who believed He was living in alignment with the ways of God. The young man has a conversation with Jesus about what good he must do to have eternal life. Jesus’ first response isn’t actually WHAT good he should do but, WHO defines what is good? Jesus reminds the young man that only God is good so to have true life is to follow the One who is good. The young man isn’t quite satisfied with that answer and asks again for specifics. He wants to know the actual checklist of what can be done to gain eternal life.
Jesus recites to the young man the rules of the law that he already knows: a quick summary of the ten commandments. The young man is confused by this response because he is already ticking off those boxes in his head. “I’ve done all that! What am I missing?” Now Jesus knows that He has the young man’s attention.
“If you want to give it all you’ve got, go sell your possessions; give everything to the poor. All your wealth will then be in heaven. Then come follow me.”
Matthew 19:21 (the message)
The young man walks away, disappointed and sad, because this is the one thing that he doesn’t want to give up. Jesus challenges him to give up the one thing that has a hold on his heart: his wealth.
He no longer owned his possessions, they owned him.
Is it a fast or a sacrifice?
I think the sacrifice that Jesus asks of this young man is deeper than giving away material things. Does the young man have security in his wealth that he is unwilling to give up? Is his identity wrapped up in being someone who is known for having all things? I imagine he has acquired a certain status in society because of the possessions he owns. Jesus’ challenge pierces him to the heart because he is clinging to the one thing he doesn’t want to let go. This is more than a fast. It’s a sacrifice.
With a late start to Lent this year (not until March 5th!) I’m preparing and praying into what a season of fasting looks like for me. I’m asking myself these questions:
What owns me?
What am I holding onto that I think is a necessary part of my life?
What do I cling to for comfort, more than Jesus?
What is He asking me to be rid of to experience a more joyful, peaceful life?
What is keeping me from daily connection with Him?
Is this a fast or a sacrifice?
What is impacting my heart
As I’ve prayed and considered what is impacting my heart the most in this season of life, the distraction that is keeping me from experiencing His peace, love and joy is social media. I’ve bought into a lie that this platform is necessary for me to experience connection with others. I’ve also noticed increasing levels of anxiety, criticalness of others, and waves of sadness or anger over the state of our world when I’m in that space. I believe God is inviting me into a season of connecting with Him and others, without the noise of the masses. He’s asking me to let go of this thing that has a hold of my heart so my heart can be at rest with Him.
What is it for you? What do you sense God is asking you to fast from as you prepare for Lent? Is it a temporary fast or is it a sacrifice, for always? However God is leading you, you can be sure that the end result is the same:
For Him to take up greater real estate in your heart.
That you would follow Him more closely.
For you to experience feeling secure in Jesus and be fully known by Him.