10 Things I love about you

Sticks and Stones

I’ve heard the stories of what life is like raising middle school girls. I listened in and tucked those stories away in the “someday” category of my brain. The last several weeks have been a full-on immersion into the someday becoming my reality.

Emotions have gone to extremes.
Insecurities rising to the surface.
The comparison game is stronger than ever.
Trying to find belonging in a group.
The soundtrack in their head gets stuck on negativity.

But I’ve always believed in the power of words. I know what life-giving words can do in the heart of a girl who feels unseen. I believe in the truth of scripture that emphasizes life or death can be brought forth from that tiny little muscle, our tongue. Or these days, you can even include all the finger intrinsics that form our words on our devices. Sticks and stones can break bones but words don’t deflect as easy as the rhyme promises.
They take root in thoughts.
They scar precious hearts.
They form an ugly cloak that beauty hides under.

Words on a mirror

I want my daughters to be formed by the words of those who see, know and love them. I pray that my husband and I would echo the truths of the Father, who made each of them uniquely by His hand. A few weeks ago, I felt led to write on each of their mirrors, a list of 10 Things I Love About You. (A twist on one of their current favorite movies released in the ’90s: 10 Things I Hate about you). I took a red, dry erase marker and prayerfully wrote a list, tailored to each of them about all the wonderful things that I know to be true about them.

Those detailed lists won’t be shared here because they are treasured words from the heart of a momma to her daughters. I prayed these life-giving words would be one more way to:
Uncover their true beauty.
Shine a light on their uniqueness.
Remind them that in this home, they are seen, known, and deeply loved! ❤️

Mirrored back

I shared the first part of this story on social media before I knew how they would react. I could never have imagined the kind of impact this moment would have on them. God’s timing to nudge me to write these love letters on their mirrors was perfect. They arrived home from school that day, each of them having experienced a significant moment of rejection. Even through tears, they were able to share that my words on the mirrors eased some of the pain of those rejections. God is good like that. He knew just what my daughters needed and allowed me to bring comfort to their hurting hearts.

The following morning, my husband and I were out of the house for a few hours when we returned to a surprise. Written on our mirrored closet doors was a simple sentence of love for each of us. My heart melted at this unprompted response from one of our daughters. She entered our bedroom with a wide smile on her face and said, “Did you look in your bathroom yet?” I raised my eyebrows and headed to our sinks to see what she was referring to. On the mirror above the sinks, she had made her own list of “10 things I love about mom and dad.”

Cue the tears.

My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude when my kids do something so beautifully unexpected. She was telling me that those words really mattered to her. She wanted to give a similar gift in return. It was precious. And I haven’t been able to erase them off my mirror yet.

Choose wisely

Our words matter. In your family. At your place of work. In your church community. To your neighbors. On social media.

But we get to choose! We choose what we will say when we speak, type, or write. Like James instructs, I want to be quick to hear and slow to speak. Whatever form my words take, I want to honor God and lift up others. I want to notice the beauty of people, who are the Imago Dei, made in His likeness. I’m learning the good that comes when I choose my words wisely.

Who needs your life-giving words today? Send that text. Take time for a handwritten card. Make the phone call. Look a friend in the eyes and remind them how much they have to offer the world. Your words have power! Be the voice of truth they desperately need to hear.