Surprised by a good gift
Gifts are not my love language. Actually, I don’t receive gifts well. I feel awkward and somewhat unworthy when someone gives me something. My first reaction to a gift (that isn’t for my birthday) is usually an attempt to give it back. A kind but awkward thank you followed by some reason of why I can’t accept the gift. Or a brief hesitation combined with a statement about how unnecessary the gift is. I can’t even try to describe why I respond that way. When I’m on the other side of giving, I love it. I have so much fun picking out something that a dear friend or family member would enjoy. It’s easy to picture their reaction when they tear off the paper and unbox the gift. I anticipate the delight on their faces and the sound of their voice. For me, joy comes from being the giver!
Recently, I received such an unexpected gift that my reaction was pure joy. No hesitation. No questioning if I was worthy. Instantaneous excitement at the announcement of this gift. My heart exploded as I experienced the goodness of God.
“If you then, being evil, know how to give GOOD GIFTS to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give GOOD things to those who ask Him!” Matthew 7:11
Something lost
We moved to a new house last summer. That meant packing up fourteen years worth of life and unpacking all of that stuff into new spaces in the new house. When you pack up two U-haul loads of boxes and furniture, you can only hope that all the items of value make it during the move. We packed up everything we owned in about 6 weeks. Unpacking? What’s the hurry, right? That happened over months! We unpacked all the necessary items but then some boxes would be unpacked in the small pockets of time we had in the evenings. I didn’t realize that something of real value to me was missing until I couldn’t find it.
A few months ago, I transformed the office space I used for my previous small business into a writing room. I re-organized a cube shelf into the space for my favorite books, resources and bible studies. I planned that one of those cube spaces would hold all my handwritten journals from over the years. My journals weren’t just plain notebooks. I hand-picked them during different seasons of my life. They contain celebrations of my greatest joys. They hold the pain of some of my deepest heartaches. Each one has prayers to God scribbled onto the pages. We’re talking fifteen years of the stories of my life! Priceless to me.
I couldn’t find them.
My brain was on overload trying to remember where I could have put my journals during our unpacking. We had unpacked ninety-five percent of the boxes! had looked in all the places that I thought they should be. I searched boxes in the basement, sifted through the ones in the garage, scoured the numerous bookshelves, and checked every closet. No journals. What a disappointment! With my heart set on writing again, I was counting on those to help me tell stories.
Stories of God’s faithfulness.
Stories of struggle and overcoming.
Stories laced with heartache.
Stories containing loss.
Stories where Jesus showed up with His comfort.
Stories of enduring hard things with hope.
I didn’t just want those journals. I needed them!
Simple prayers
I shared the case of the missing journals with my friend Kelsie. We have a shared love for journaling and I knew she could relate to the pain of losing these precious pages. She inspired me by this beautiful story of her grandmother’s ring being returned to her after it was lost. She simply started praying that God would return this precious gift back to her. Even her two year old son would join in the simple prayer each day of asking God to return this ring that meant so much to Kelsie.
And He answered it. One morning, Kelsie was unexpectedly lying on the kitchen floor, snuggling with her son when she spotted Grandma’s ring underneath a cabinet. I mean, who actually lays down on their kitchen floor? She had done it because he asked her to! God used that invitation from her son to play on the floor, revealing what she had lost! God does love to give us good gifts! Why wouldn’t I ask God to return my journals?
It seemed like an insignificant ask in the realm of prayer. But, God promises to give good gifts when we ask. So, I prayed an honest prayer to God. I told Him how much the journals meant to me and asked Him to reveal where they were hidden and return them. A simple prayer spoken just twice in the middle of the ordinary routine of my days.
One evening, I was right in the middle of saying goodbye to friends at the front door when my youngest daughter bounced up the stairs and announced, “Mom, I found your journals.” What? Overcome with excitement, I hastily ended the conversation to run downstairs to our storage room. The lid was propped open to one of our plastic storage tubs. At the bottom of the tub (that I’m certain I had already sifted through) sat the stack of all of my journal! I lifted them out one by one, opening up the front covers and flipping through the dated pages. My heart was so full at the sight of my own handwriting. I immediately felt the joy of answered prayer and thanked God for His goodness. What a GIFT!
Seeds and Roots
That’s the difference between knowing something about God and experiencing Him. We can know something to be true about God in our mind and believe it. We can even agree with it with our words. But, when we experience a truth about Him, it moves from being a seed that sits on the surface to a seed that is sinking in and has started to develop roots. A seed is easily picked out of the topsoil. A root has been digging down into deeper soil and won’t be pulled up without some effort. An experience with God will give us a root in knowing Him that will keep us grounded in hope. A seed of truth can be picked out when it hasn’t had the time or nurturing to develop roots.
That sounds a lot like the seed that is sown on good soil that Jesus talked about in the parables. The seed on top of the ground gets plucked up by the lies that contradict the truth. The seed that lies shallow on the rocks isn’t able to root because of troubles and selfish desires. Seed that mix in with the weeds can’t root because worry, stress and fear tangle around and choke it out. But a seed that works its way into good soil, roots in by embracing hope and experiencing God to be true in His word and character. The result? A fruitful life that results in a harvest.
Receiving the gift of the returned journals has become one more root that is holding me to the goodness of God. What do you believe to be true about God but you want to experience it? Ask Him. He wants to give you that good gift and see it grow roots in you!